Day 14 (part 2) conclusions:
- Choosing to love is very different from acceptance.
- I am again touching on an idea that the strength and resilience I feel may not be physical.
A quick recap. During this morning’s meditation I found myself with my physical body and realised it was time to turn my intention inward.
And what I have found is for me, ground-breaking and by no means complete – more, the beginning. I have written a whole book about the value of acceptance and surrender but love was a word I was uncomfortable with, particularly in the same sentence as myself. I have been quite skilled at leaning how to accept aspects of my life that weren't ideal, surrendering to what is and forgiveness but not welcoming and definitely not love.
So today I have been having a completely different experience with my body – I have welcomed and loved. It hasn't been either seamless or easy but it has been illuminating, and it has left me with a dream of inhabiting my body, with love.
When I started visualising yoga I felt like I was learning how to inhabit my body again, while accepting the limitations it presented in actual movement. Now I feel like that was he first stage of the journey and I have the opportunity to engage in the next level of habitation – to invite love into my experience of my body.
Today I have started to experience what this might be like and it really is lovely, as another source of tension is released each time I evoke love in response to my body. It is still a conscious act to evoke the sensations of love in my body, particularly the parts that aren't working as well as one might hope, but I feel like I have stumbled on something really warm and nurturing for myself.
Choosing to love is very different from accepting.
And I am again touching on an idea that the strength and resilience I feel may not be physical, and welcoming this strength while loving the rest may be the key to my well-being, whether my body is ‘functioning’ or not.