Day 1 conclusions:
- The practice of meditation on love, mantra and anchoring doesn’t stop the fear reaction but it does change the response.
- Setting the intention of practicing and blogging the results has brought a different quality to my observation and commitment.
- Fear and love cannot coexist.
One of my teachers used to say that fear and love cannot be held in the same hand, they cannot coexist. Where there love shines its light, fear and darkness is dispelled.
I was sceptical. I thought it sounded hollow, like so many personal transformation quotes that sound inspiring but mean nothing. Today I discovered, albeit anecdotally, that I was wrong.
I woke early this morning, feeling fearful and confused about the direction to take in my life. I knew I wanted express myself more freely and authentically but didn’t see the how, and I felt tired. After sitting with the feeling of love, the fear, tiredness and confusion were replaced with calm energy and a knowing (of what wasn’t clear but a sense trusting the answers would come).
When typical morning irritations arrived it was easy to let them pass, dissolving the irritation with a simple pulling of my fore finger and an Om. I even cleaned the kitchen and put out the washing before I left to write – who is this masked woman?
I was able to write in a free and flowing way that didn’t second guess or question – it was just me.
Through the following four classes I was able to teach intuitively and authentically while maintaining an assuredness I don’t always have. Four very different classes that were fully rounded, physically and spiritually; my focus was clear and sustained; and even my voice was clearer.
Small irritations in life, from interesting driving choices of other dirvers to challenging interactions in a cafe and restaurant, were all met with equanimity and I was able to remain open and welcoming.
The initial reaction occurred (whether irritation and/or judgement), I used my anchor and the reaction disappeared, and then I was able to respond with love. Even my own self-doubt and personal fear, which has plagued me forever, was disposed of with a single pull of my forefinger and an Om.
This even worked in my immediate relationships. I was able to see my initial reaction, activate love and respond with love, knowing it was not personal but expressions of disquiet within the individual(s). I could then be compassionate and supportive rather than reactive and inflammatory.
The interesting part of this is that I am no stranger to meditation, I practice every day, more than once a day, and I teach yoga and meditation every day but there has been something different about the quality of intention in my experience today.
I have been consciously evoking the experience of love in situations where the first reactions are fear (I include anxiety and judgement in this one word), and the fear has been quickly and authentically dissolved. There has been no need to create a feeling of love for the other person or situation or even for myself, there has been no stories, I have simply been bringing to the surface an experience of loving that is already within me.
I have felt love in response to life and this has significantly changed my thoughts and behaviour – it’s not about other, it’s about me and the love I already feel.
and this is only the first day...